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Social media use and parental presence

  • Writer: Paula Robertson
    Paula Robertson
  • Aug 4, 2025
  • 5 min read

One recent study showed that frequent parental social media use negatively impacts parent-child communication.

 

I was struck recently by research I saw reported on CNN’s Health and Wellness page: that cell phone use can affect parent-child interactions, even when the adult is not online. The article referenced research presented at the recently-concluded 2025 Digital Media and Developing Minds International Scientific Congress in Washington, DC, where researchers, clinicians, educators, policymakers, and advocates gathered to debate about what it would take to protect children’s well-being in a rapidly-advancing tech landscape.

 

This study looked at the impact of cell phone use on parent-child interactions even when parents were offline, according to Liz Robinson, a doctoral student at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa and the lead author of the study. The study found that the group of mothers who used social media extensively (an average of 169 minutes per day) spoke 29% less to their kids while playing with them — without their phones — compared with the moms whose social media use was low (an average of 21 minutes per day).  Other uses of screens, including checking email or the weather, weren’t associated with talking less to kids, according to the study of 65 toddlers ages 2 through 5 years old and their mothers in Alabama.

 

Although this is a small study that had not yet been peer-reviewed, it provided food for thought and prompted me to take a hard long look at my on-screen use. The hard truth is that, as a parent, I had been concerned (rightfully so, in my opinion) of the potential effects of unregulated social media on mental well-being of young people, and the need for them to adopt healthy screentime habits and balance. But how often have I followed my own rules and modelled healthy screentime behaviours myself? I know firsthand how easy it is to fall into the black hole of watching You Tube or Tik Tok videos mindlessly, present in body but escaping in my mind to the seemingly mindless pleasure and amusement curated for me on my phone. But we know that children need parental presence when they are learning important life skills like social communication, language and emotional regulation. Kids thrive when their trusted adults and guardians are able to spend time with them fully in the moment, listening, mentoring, supporting and teaching them through modeling language and behaviour. However, excessive social media use can steal that from us as parents and rob our children of our full presence. Even as our kids grow up, they still need us to be present for them when it matters (yes, even in the teen years!)


 “Kids are acutely aware of where a parent is looking,” Robinson said, “and they learn what’s important. So, when our gaze is constantly going towards a device, towards a smartphone, well, we’re communicating to our children what’s important in that moment, too.”

Parental presence isn't just about being in the same room; it’s about being emotionally available, responsive, and engaged. Research shows that consistent parental presence helps children feel secure, supports emotional regulation, and builds stronger relationships.


So how can we cultivate more meaningful presence in the age of endless notifications, scrolling, and screen fatigue? Here are some practical, child health-informed tips for managing screentime and reconnecting with what matters most—our kids.

 

Be a Role Model with Screens

Children often mirror adult behaviour. If we’re constantly on our phones, they’ll learn that’s normal.

Try this:

  • Have phone-free zones (e.g., dinner table, bedrooms, during car rides).

  • Narrate your screen use: “I’m just checking the recipe” instead of appearing distracted.

  • Let your children see you choosing them over your phone.

 

Schedule Daily Connection Time

Just 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted, focused time with your child can make a big difference. Call it special time—and protect it like an important appointment.

Try this:

  • Play a game, take a walk, read together or simply talk.

  • Let your child choose the activity.

  • Be fully present—no devices, no multitasking.

 

Create a Family Media Plan

A clear, agreed-upon plan helps everyone know the boundaries and expectations around screens.

Try this:

  • Set screentime limits that reflect your child’s age and needs.

  • Avoid screens at least an hour before bedtime and avoid charging devices in the bedroom.

  • Use parental controls or app timers to manage usage gently.

 

Embrace Tech-Free Rituals

Routine, screen-free moments help children feel seen and safe.

Try this:

  • Make family meals non-negotiable and device-free.

  • Start or end the day with cuddles, chats, or prayers.

  • Use drive times or bedtime for meaningful conversation.

 

Watch Together, Don’t Just Supervise

When children are using screens, especially for entertainment, try to co-view when possible. This encourages conversation and gives you insight into their interests.

Try this:

  • Watch a favourite show or YouTube video together, then talk about it.

  • Ask open questions like, “What did you like about that?” or “Would you have made the same choice?”

 

Use Social Media Mindfully

Both parents and teens can get caught in the scroll trap. Mindful use models emotional regulation and intentional living.

Try this:

  • Reflect on how social media makes you feel. If it drains or distracts, reduce your time.

  • Don’t share too much of your child’s life online (a growing concern called sharenting).

  • Have open conversations about digital wellbeing and online safety.

 

Make Presence a Daily Intention

Sometimes presence is a mindset, not just an action. Choose to truly be there.

Try this:

  • Pause before responding to your child—give full attention, even briefly.

  • Practice active listening: eye contact, nodding, reflecting feelings.

  • Say things like, “I love spending time with you,” or “Tell me more.”

 

Final Thoughts:

Children don’t need perfect parents. But they do need present ones.

Creating more parental presence is about reclaiming small moments of connection every day—offering our attention, our hearts, and our time. By managing screens wisely and showing up fully, we raise kids who feel valued, grounded, and truly seen.

 

Helpful Resources:


References:


 

Remember: Presence is the greatest present we can give. Let’s unplug to reconnect.

 

Be well,

Paula


Dr  Paula Robertson is a busy mom and a paediatrician with over twenty years' experience working with young people and their families. She is also a certified children's mindfulness teacher and Positive Discipline Parenting

coach. You can find out more at www.paulathedoctormom.com.

Our AI wellness assistant has contributed to the writing of this article

 
 
 

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